Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I Have Trust Issues

I don’t trust people like I should. Well, at least like I think I should. I don’t know why I’m like that. Normally it stems from something that happened earlier on that shatters your trust of people. I can’t possibly think of what it might be, though. Like, I tend to be worried when someone is being nice to me, that they have some ulterior motive.

Well I guess my issue with guys tends to stem from the guys that I’ve dealt with and all the “horror” stories that I’ve heard from other people. Like, I’ve dealt with some pretty untrustworthy guys in my past (even though I’ve never actually been in relationships with anyone like that… that I know of). It’s always something:

  • “So-n-so cheated on so-n-so with so-n-so.”
  • He’s had twins with some other girl.
  • He says he was out with his boys when he was really dick-deep in someone else (or vise-versa).
  • “She’s just playing on my phone. I don’t know why she would say she’s my girl.” (When he’s saying the same shit to her).
  • “Oh… uh, I forgot to mention I’m already seeing someone.”

And it goes on. The sad part is I didn’t make any of these up off the top of my head. These are all pulled from actual occurrences that have happened to me or someone I know. And it leaves me wearing a lot of jade (which isn’t even my birthstone). I really try to stay optimistic and have confidence and trust in people, but it’s hard. Especially, since it’s hard to find someone who is trustworthy. But I guess if I’m always suspicious of their actions and never give them a chance then I’ll never come to a point where I’ll deem them worthy of my trust. *sigh* Maybe, I’ll get past this at some point.

One day. We’ll see.

Thank you for indulging my seemingly random rant.

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