Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Return to New York

I went to New York this weekend. It was rather impromptu as I wasn't sure whether I was going or not until Friday. I spent the day up there with my boo. He was worried because he had just had to spend a fair amount of money on some things and felt as though he didn't have enough to show me a good time around the city like he wanted to. I told him not to worry about it and the city wasn't the reason why I was up there, to be honest.

We mostly just hung out. Nothing special, but it was the most fun that I've had in a while. Well, at least with a guy that wasn't related to me or just a friend. I would elaborate on the things we did, but I just don't feel like it. I think I'll keep this all inside for now. Hold it close to me.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

He Loves Me

He said he loved me. It caught me off guard. It rolled off his tongue as if he had been saying it to me for years. I stammered for second, trying to wrap myself around it. It's been so long since a man has said that to me. Then, as Jill once said, “it slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin, and landed in his lap” and I repeated those same, beautiful words to him.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Breaking Down Barriers

It took us forever to get to this place. Not that it's great timing or anything, but it felt nice. The way my relationship with Jon has been developing is rather interesting. It really only seems the most apparent during sex. Initially, it began as a mutual interest in potential dating, or maybe a friendship if that didn't work out. We were attracted to each other from the start, but didn't act on anything for maybe two months.

Admittedly, when we did, the sex was fluke. Like, I've had better... a lot better. What made it bad was the fact that he was one of those types that would keep saying stupid things like "Yeah, I'm a freak" blah, blah, blah. But we really only ended up in a riding position (which I was in until my legs were sore and I made him change positions) and then from the back. And we didn't kiss at all. Now, I'm a rather intimate person when it comes to sex. I like the experimenting with different things and ideas, but I still want to feel like you interest in me is more than just a hole that you can stick your dick in. So, as I said, it wasn't all that great and there was plenty of faking it on my part. But I was into him. I thought he was cool and that I could loop around and maybe, at some point, give him a chance to redeem himself.

Afterward we pretty much gave up on the idea of dating and would talk every now and then on the phone and through text messages. Nothing too serious. When I finally got my license it became easier to see him so we planned to get back together and try again. This time wasn't as bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I could tell it was a little better. I still wasn't ready to give up on him.

Because of our schedules (and at one point neither of us having a car) we rarely ever had the chance to get together, so we would take what we could get when we got it, which wasn't often. But each time I felt like he was becoming more and more comfortable with me and opening up sexually. But he still had this one annoying-ass habit that I needed to break him out of.

Whenever you would get together, it was understood that we were going to sleep together. We would sit around and talk for a little bit, watch television, just bullshit for a little while. After a while, he would simply look at me and ask in a very nonchalant manner "So, you ready?" and we'd get undressed hop in bed and fuck. How impersonal is that, though! I hated it so much for the very reason I stated. It really made it sound like we were moving a couch as opposed to having some good sex. I had to break him out of that.

Finally, last night he came over. Instead of the usual, I put on the whole "bun" act (not that it was too much of an act because I am attracted to him and has BF potential to some extent). He came in, and sat down on my bed and watched TV. I slowly maneuvered him into a position where he was laying across my lap and I was running my hand over his stomach and stroking the top of his head. Yes, like a puppy *laugh*. (BTW, he has really nice hair. It was so soft, I would love to see the full texture of it grown out, but then again he wouldn't look good with long hair.) His phone rang and he got up to answer it, then he went right back to the spot where he was before. Finally! He's fully comfortable. It took him forever to get here. Eventually, we shifted positions. He took his shirt and pants off a) because we both knew what he was here for and b) because the bedroom door was closed, the a/c was off and it was getting really hot in there. I ended up resting my head on his chest as we sat around watching one of the Dave Chappelle comedy specials. Not too long after it ended I rolled over and kissed him. He kissed me back and what followed was some of the best and most intimate sex that we've ever had together (mind the wording).

Afterward, we fell on the bed and just lay there. He held me and we tried to catch our breath. He began to doze off, but kept saying he had to leave (unfortunately he still lives with his mother and he still has a curfew even though he's twenty *sigh*). Honestly, he could have stayed all night if he wanted to, at that point. I finally felt like I was getting to that passionate person that something kept telling me was always there and I wasn't ready for him to leave. But I knew that at one point I had to, so I got up and let him get dressed and walked him to the door (not without getting a few more kisses in).

I realize that it's not a romantic thing, because I don't really even feel that. It's waxing lust, but a little more intimate than just hopping on each other and fucking like rabbits on uppers. The problem is, though, what about Mike?

Monday, September 11, 2006

Nappy Roots

It’s Monday, September the 11th. Here I am, early in the morning in front of my computer, wrapped in a bed sheet looking very similar to Drew Barrymore in Charlie’s Angels. Now, I could sit here and reminisce on the tragedy that happened on this day years ago or I could continue to be selfish and just talk about what’s going on in my life. I think I’ll be selfish.

So, Friday night the crew got together for some impromptu QT (quality time). Because nothing elaborate was planned, we just decided to keep it simple. We chose to go to the Fridays down downtown near GWU and then we were going to just hit up the usual spots in Adams Morgan.

After a rather whack time at Fridays and squeezing seven people into the Maxima, we headed up to Adams Morgan. I have to say that this was a good weekend for parking. Anyway, while scouting the area for a bar that looked like it was popping and an ATM so K-girl could get some cash, we came to the McDonald’s at the corner of 18th and Columbia. As we walked by, this girl looks up at Tracey who’s on my arm. As I see her look up, I see that she’s about to say something. I think it’s going to be something along the lines of “I like your earrings” or something like that. I was wrong. Instead, she says:

“We aren’t slaves in the field pickin’ cotton anymore. So, I’m gonna need you to comb your hair.”

Mind you this girl looked like she fell straight out of Roots herself with her extra large cornrows that really needed to be redone, but that’s neither here nor there.
Tracey (as well as Erin, Maria, and Cherrish) are going natural with their hair. They’ve come to terms with the fact that perms are slowly but surely killing their hair and have decided to grow it out and go with the natural look. Tracey’s hair, by no means, is bad. In fact, she doesn’t really need a perm.

Anyway, if you haven’t caught on by now from my previous stories of Adams Morgan, the streets are full of people. You really have to pay attention to where the people you came with are. So we, as a group, were a little separated. So, after the comment Tracey gets a little hostile (being the smallest in the group and you know what they say about those little ones) and I grabbed Tracey and pulled her along. Quiet Jocee and Erin (advocate for natural hair) start getting loud too, as they heard the girl make the comment. The girl decides she wants to “
keep it real” and gets up to confront Tracey, Erin, and Jocee. Little did she know that K-girl and Cherrish were with us. Apparently when her friends realized how deep the crew was rolling, they promptly grabbed her and apologized for her behavior.

Now, I know I’m long-winded when it comes to my writing, but hell, I’m finally at my point. Why was it so necessary for that girl to go all out of her way to say something inappropriate like that? Especially over something like her hair? So, what? Now that my girl doesn’t have a fresh perm she’s supposed to look like a slave? That is some real backward ass thinking. How can we as a people grow if we’re constantly knocking each other down for being true to ourselves and our heritage? The answer is that we can’t and we won’t. If that girl had taken the time out to think before she opened her mouth she would have realized how ignorant she sounded.

This is a general problem with us today, though. We’re always so busy putting each other down and holding each other back, that others are passing us and achieving what we should have. That whole, crabs in a barrel mentality. This is an old and tired complaint, though. Something that’s been around for way to long and I’m sure will be around for a lot longer, unfortunately. It just seems like the more we tell each other to think, the less we actually do. *sigh*