Friday, September 15, 2006

Breaking Down Barriers

It took us forever to get to this place. Not that it's great timing or anything, but it felt nice. The way my relationship with Jon has been developing is rather interesting. It really only seems the most apparent during sex. Initially, it began as a mutual interest in potential dating, or maybe a friendship if that didn't work out. We were attracted to each other from the start, but didn't act on anything for maybe two months.

Admittedly, when we did, the sex was fluke. Like, I've had better... a lot better. What made it bad was the fact that he was one of those types that would keep saying stupid things like "Yeah, I'm a freak" blah, blah, blah. But we really only ended up in a riding position (which I was in until my legs were sore and I made him change positions) and then from the back. And we didn't kiss at all. Now, I'm a rather intimate person when it comes to sex. I like the experimenting with different things and ideas, but I still want to feel like you interest in me is more than just a hole that you can stick your dick in. So, as I said, it wasn't all that great and there was plenty of faking it on my part. But I was into him. I thought he was cool and that I could loop around and maybe, at some point, give him a chance to redeem himself.

Afterward we pretty much gave up on the idea of dating and would talk every now and then on the phone and through text messages. Nothing too serious. When I finally got my license it became easier to see him so we planned to get back together and try again. This time wasn't as bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I could tell it was a little better. I still wasn't ready to give up on him.

Because of our schedules (and at one point neither of us having a car) we rarely ever had the chance to get together, so we would take what we could get when we got it, which wasn't often. But each time I felt like he was becoming more and more comfortable with me and opening up sexually. But he still had this one annoying-ass habit that I needed to break him out of.

Whenever you would get together, it was understood that we were going to sleep together. We would sit around and talk for a little bit, watch television, just bullshit for a little while. After a while, he would simply look at me and ask in a very nonchalant manner "So, you ready?" and we'd get undressed hop in bed and fuck. How impersonal is that, though! I hated it so much for the very reason I stated. It really made it sound like we were moving a couch as opposed to having some good sex. I had to break him out of that.

Finally, last night he came over. Instead of the usual, I put on the whole "bun" act (not that it was too much of an act because I am attracted to him and has BF potential to some extent). He came in, and sat down on my bed and watched TV. I slowly maneuvered him into a position where he was laying across my lap and I was running my hand over his stomach and stroking the top of his head. Yes, like a puppy *laugh*. (BTW, he has really nice hair. It was so soft, I would love to see the full texture of it grown out, but then again he wouldn't look good with long hair.) His phone rang and he got up to answer it, then he went right back to the spot where he was before. Finally! He's fully comfortable. It took him forever to get here. Eventually, we shifted positions. He took his shirt and pants off a) because we both knew what he was here for and b) because the bedroom door was closed, the a/c was off and it was getting really hot in there. I ended up resting my head on his chest as we sat around watching one of the Dave Chappelle comedy specials. Not too long after it ended I rolled over and kissed him. He kissed me back and what followed was some of the best and most intimate sex that we've ever had together (mind the wording).

Afterward, we fell on the bed and just lay there. He held me and we tried to catch our breath. He began to doze off, but kept saying he had to leave (unfortunately he still lives with his mother and he still has a curfew even though he's twenty *sigh*). Honestly, he could have stayed all night if he wanted to, at that point. I finally felt like I was getting to that passionate person that something kept telling me was always there and I wasn't ready for him to leave. But I knew that at one point I had to, so I got up and let him get dressed and walked him to the door (not without getting a few more kisses in).

I realize that it's not a romantic thing, because I don't really even feel that. It's waxing lust, but a little more intimate than just hopping on each other and fucking like rabbits on uppers. The problem is, though, what about Mike?

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